From Six Months Off:

Lee Belfiglio, a viola player in the Seattle Philharmonic Orchestra and the mother of two young sons, spent more than a year planning her family’s three-month cross-country car adventure, making sure she involved her family every step of the way.

“The first thing we did was get this huge map of the United States, which we hung on one of our family room walls,” she says. “And then we just started planning our route and filling a huge, monster notebook with ideas for our trip.  It was really this great family project.”

I’ve said before that you shouldn’t listen to people, because most of them are selfish idiots who care nothing about your vision and are more than willing to compromise it just so they’ll be happy.  However, I still think there’s tremendous value in assuring these people that they’ve been heard.

All of us want to be respected and understood as individuals — it affirms our significance.  So when we feel like we’ve contributed to something we’re emotionally invested in, it makes us content.  We don’t want the rug to be swept out from under our feet; we want to get acclimated to the impending change, understand why it’s better for us, then help the transition along.  Even if the customers don’t ultimately get their way, at least someone heard them out.  And that’s usually enough to prevent resentment.

Of course, the really smart companies / marketers work to make the customers feel like the change was their idea to begin with (much like Lee did with her kids).

Recently, I caught up with a friend who I hadn’t talked to in about a year.  He was telling me how he wanted to leave his part-time job so he could go to film school and become a video editor.  I asked if he’d ever done any editing before, and he said, “No, but I think it’d be a lot of fun.  I would love to edit trailers for big Hollywood movies.”

Kill me now.

He wanted to go to film school — a.k.a. guaranteed six-figure debt and high chance of failure ahead — with ZERO hands-on experience in anything related to film.  Unbelievable.

I see this all the time.  People want to get their MBA because they love the idea of being a CEO.  Or they want to write a book because they love the idea of calling themselves an author.  Or they want to buy a patent because they love the idea of their product being on a shelf in Walmart.

Why in the world are people willing to dish out thousands of dollars when they could have quickly discovered, for free, that it wouldn’t work out?

You want to be a film editor?  Try making a basic slideshow of family pictures on your computer.

You want to be a CEO?  Shadow a first-time entrepreneur and see what their daily routine is like.

You want to be an author?  Write a successful blog first.

You want to be an inventor?  Sell one — just one — unit of your product on ebay.

You want to stop falling in love with your half-baked ideas?  Fail cheap.  You’ll build momentum that way.

When I was 15 years old, there was no Youtube.  The only central location I knew about for finding interesting videos was Kazaa.  That’s where I found this:

If you know anything about the history of sports, you’ll definitely want to watch it.  It’s kinda slow for the first minute, but trust me, the whole thing is awesome.

ESPN’s “Images of the Century” catalyzed my interest in video editing.  I must have watched it 100 times back in high school.  I remember showing it to several of my friends, and being amazed that this video could give all of us goosebumps.  It was the first time I became consciously aware of how powerful images were when combined with the right music, and how pacing and transitions could rapidly seize a person’s attention and put them in a trance.

I owe a lot to whoever edited “Images of the Century.”  He awoke my appreciation for the art of editing, as well as my desire to go out and learn it.

I got two calls from the Youtube celeb, Mr. Chi-City, last week.  I emailed him my phone number after he posted on Twitter that he wanted to talk to some of his fans.  Apparently, almost 700 people emailed him with their numbers… and he called all of us.  Twice.

The first time he called me, we talked for 10 minutes.  He was candid, really nice, and didn’t seem like he was in a rush to get off and make the next call.  I asked him a few fairly predictable questions…

How has doing your Youtube videos affected your life? “A lot of women, man, a lot of women.  Haha!”

What do you have planned for the future? “I don’t know, man.  A few entertainment companies have talked with me about setting something up, but I’m not really interested.  I just like doing my videos.  I’ll probably go out to LA at some point and talk with them, just because how often does a guy like me, with no talent, get offers from people like that?”

We talked about some other stuff, made a few jokes, then I wished him the best of luck and said I’d continue watching his videos.  Then he called me a few days later, unexpectedly, and left me this message:

Awesome.  I love this guy.

There’s something to be said about this gimmick of his, and we can take away a few lessons from Chi-City:

• Connecting with fans. How can you not love a guy who makes 1,100 calls over the course of six days, not selling anything, but just wanting to connect?  That is a big physical effort, saying the same thing to jackass fans like me, over and over.  How often do you think he found the person on the other end of the phone interesting?  Rarely.  But that doesn’t matter — he cared about connecting and spreading the love.  For me, that’s the very core of good marketing.  Well done.
• Authenticity. People love him because he’s funny, ridiculous, high energy, over-the-top, and excessively gregarious.  But we also love him because we know it’s not an act.  He definitely plays up his personality on camera, but it’s pretty obvious he acts that way all the time — flaws and all.  And it’s hard not to like him for it.

Anyways, I wanted to write this post to show my appreciation for someone who’s not trying to immediately cash in on a viral video he made and the small amount of internet fame that came with it.  Chi-City, you seem like a cool guy and I hope to be hit with one of your freeze pops someday.

This is great to do if you read a lot of books on a particular topic, and constantly like to reference the ideas from them.

This is an important lesson I learned the hard way.  It’s common sense advice that you don’t really think about until you’ve screwed things up, so hopefully this post will save someone from an awkward/painful situation in the future.

Last year, when I was still in school, I was dating a girl who wanted to go into advertising after graduation.  In spite of my warnings that traditional advertising was in decline and wasn’t a good long-term choice, she insisted that she still wanted to pursue it.  Because I was good friends with a bunch of people in that industry from the internship I did, I said I’d put in a good word for her.

Now, this girl was not dumb (in the academic sense).  She had a really high GPA, flawless record, and was a genuinely sweet person.  But I knew from the time I’d spent with her that she wasn’t all that sharp.  She didn’t grasp basic concepts easily, she actually had to bust her ass to get that high GPA, and worst of all, she was shy and afraid to ask questions.  Even though I was aware of all this, I told my old boss that she was legit and passed her resume on.

She got the internship, of course.  And when I talked to my boss a few months later, she suggested that I either not recommend people in the future or develop a stronger filter.

It was stupid on my part, because I really valued the relationship I had with my boss.  The recommendation I gave reflected poorly on me, and her trust in me was shaken.  It just wasn’t worth it.  Favors are overrated.

I’ve learned my lesson since then.  I don’t say anyone is legit anymore unless I’m 100% confident and have witnessed their work ethic/talent/creativity/passion firsthand.

If your recommendation has the potential to really screw somebody over (in time and/or money wasted), you can’t take the situation lightly.  You need to carefully balance the person’s track record with your gut feeling.  I knew this girl had a good track record, but my gut was telling me the situation was going to be a disaster.

If you really want to maintain a person’s trust and respect, do them a favor and be coompletely transparent.  Don’t do anyone a favor just because they’re your friend.  If you absolutely have to make a recommendation, give that person a few options.  Say, “I recommend Person A, B, and C.  They’re all good, but I think you should pick whoever suits your needs best.”  It’s an easy way to do damage control.  When they have options, it’s their fault if they make the wrong choice, not yours.

I saw ‘The Hangover’ today, after hearing multiple rave reviews from friends over the weekend.  Everyone said it was amazing, and I even heard a few supposedly hyperbolical “Funniest movie I’ve ever seen” statements.

Because it’s so close to ‘I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell‘ in terms of audience and subject matter, I thought I’d write down a few thoughts on the two movies.  [Quick warning: This post contains a couple minor spoilers for 'The Hangover.']

• It seems like the writers took on this mindset when putting the screenplay together: “Let’s think of a bunch of really crazy situations that cool people would probably get into if they spent a month blacked out in Vegas, then we’ll compile it all into a 12-hour time slot.  They’ll find a baby, a tiger, and a live chicken in their hotel room, steal a cop car, lose a tooth, marry an escort… AND THEY WON’T REMEMBER ANY OF IT!  Oh my god, these guys will be so crazy and hilarious!!!”  Almost all of these situations seem cliche and, to a large extent, predictable.  But if you think situational humor is the greatest thing on earth, then you’ll probably love this movie.  You’ll probably love this next sentence, too: Picture a guy waking up naked in a cornfield with a shoe… on his hand!  Hilarious, right?  I’m cracking up just thinking about it!
• I love Zach Galifianakis — he’s one of my favorite comedians — and I thought he was the only truly enjoyable character.  I’d even say he carried this movie, and produced 80% of the biggest laughs from the audience.  After following Zach’s career for 6+ years, seeing him live, and owning two of his live performance DVDs, I’m thrilled to see that he has successfully broken into the mainstream and people are digging his style.  [SPOILER] The part where he reads his speech on the roof is the funniest scene… and it happens in the first 30 minutes.  All downhill from there.
• [SPOILER] What was with The Rainman sequence?  It seemed like it was slapped into the script as a half-hearted attempt to make other plot points cohesive with the story.  From a stylistic standpoint it was pretty cool, but overall it was just weird and mostly unnecessary.
• [SPOILER] They stole a tiger… from Mike Tyson… while they were completely blacked out… and managed to sneak it into Caesar’s Palace… a Las Vegas high-security casino… UNDETECTED.  That’s the equivalent of getting through airport security with an AK47 duct taped to your face.
• [SPOILER] The groom was on the roof for two days… and he was still passed out when they found him?  What?

Now that I’m able to make a direct comparison of Tucker’s movie with one that’s kinda similar, making a ton of money, and getting rave reviews, I’m even more excited.  We’re working with a film that’s, no exaggeration, at least 10x funnier.  It truly makes me sad to hear people say this was one of the funniest movies they’ve ever seen, because that means their standards are in the gutter.  Comedies these days just aren’t that great.  ‘The Hangover,’ relative to many modern comedies, is actually pretty solid.  But look at the slop it gets to compete with — all lowest common denominator drivel.

Now, you might be thinking I’m just being harsh because I had high expectations going into it.  Not true.  I’ve gone into movies before with tons of hype, always skeptical and worried that people building them up will ultimately lead to my disappointment, yet I’ll still come out more than happy.  Like with ‘The Dark Knight,’ ‘Wall-E,’ or ‘Slumdog Millionaire,’ for instance.  Everyone was saying those were brilliant, and they were right — no amount of exaggerated claims would have resulted in me walking out of the theater feeling let down.  But ‘The Hangover’?  Come on.  It’s okay, but if it’s the funniest movie you’ve ever seen, then I just feel sorry for you.

Tucker’s movie has a similar storyline, generally speaking, but it has several things ‘The Hangover’ doesn’t have.  A really good story, actual depth to its characters, an endless stream of funny lines (in addition to funny situations), no ridiculous plot points, and heart.  It’s a solid A-grade movie, no B.S.

I give ‘The Hangover’ a C.  Maybe my standards are too high, I don’t know.  But I do know that I’m excited to watch the nation’s response to ‘I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell’ in a few months.  Like I’ve said before, it’s going to be BIG.

I always thought the “be sure to subscribe to my RSS feed” posts were kinda pointless.  Who doesn’t know this stuff by now, right?  Well, apparently a lot of people either don’t know or they just don’t do it.  I swear, I had someone write to me recently saying he preferred dropping in on my site periodically instead of subscribing because he liked looking at the cows picture.  I really need to change that, by the way.  It’s not drawing in the ladies the way I thought it would.

So if you aren’t already, you can subscribe to me and receive my posts in your email inbox (click here) or RSS reader (click here).

You can also follow me on Twitter (where I don’t take myself so seriously), and Delicious (where I frequently save interesting articles and websites I come across).

Our society does not value critical thinking and skepticism highly, but rather steadfast faith and decisions based on emotion.

I think I was about 15 years old when I first realized that most adults, generally speaking, don’t really know what they’re talking about.  This is not to imply that I know and they don’t — far from it.  If anything, I’m on the same page knowledge-wise.  Where many of them go wrong, however, is when they preach on important topics with the posture of a seasoned expert.  They spout superficial knowledge, heavily influencing impressionable young people who don’t know any better.  That “knowledge” is sealed into these young people’s minds, and it lingers there, unquestioned.  Then the cycle repeats itself because no one had the energy to doubt.

We have all been guilty of both preaching and not questioning, I think.  We preach because it’s difficult to be humble or we want to be accepted and admired for our knowledge.  We don’t question because it’s mentally challenging or emotionally exhausting to even confront the flaws in our conventional wisdom to begin with.  But really, how many false truths have been discreetly pounded into our brain through family or friends or school or media or society?  How many of our assumptions would we realize are completely backwards if we could just step out of our egocentric comfort zones?  And I’m not talking conspiracy theories here — I’m talking about our complete disregard for a healthy amount of skepticism before accepting something as fact.

These assumptions we’re questioning don’t even have to be big things.  It could be something as small as suspecting that shaving cream could be the culprit for your face’s vulnerability to getting cut.  Or that the shoes your doctor recommended to heal your back pain might actually be making things worse.   [And I'm not linking to these articles because they contain irrefutable facts; I'm linking to them because they make good arguments against conventional wisdom.]

Of course, certain assumptions can be life-altering when questioned.  You could find out that your trusty, rational brain takes a backseat to both your genes and your hormones more often than you ever thought possible.  Or you might discover that many religions are intricate metaphors that are heavily rooted in sun worship.

My perception of truth has been shattered so many times over the years that I’ve been able to build up a fairly thick skin when I encounter a big worldview shift.  One of these shifts happened within the last year, when I slowly came to realize that almost all conventional wisdom about finding a career path is largely flawed (if you couldn’t tell by the nature of many of my posts).

What I constantly wonder about, though, are my personal assumptions that have still been left unquestioned.  What am I missing?  And what truths have I only scratched the surface on?

What truths have you questioned, and consequently uprooted?

Looking back on big decisions you’ve made in the past (where you went to school, what you studied, who you got into relationships with, where you lived, where you worked, etc.), how did you ultimately end up with those particular choices?

Most people will do some psychological acrobatics to shrug off sub-par decisions.  “It’s what made me happy,” or “It seemed like my only option at the time.”  But the reality is that there was usually a friend, or a girlfriend, or a family member that was the true determinant of the situation.  And to prevent a little unhappiness in the present, they made a bad choice that would cause a lot of unhappiness in the future.  The sad thing is that this pattern feeds on itself.  Once you get used to making decisions for your life on other people’s terms, it becomes really hard to stop.

How many people avoid good decisions simply because they don’t want to feel uncomfortable?  How many people go through life hoping to limit the number of times they felt embarrassed?  Do you really want to live with the harsh reality that every big decision you made was weighted against whether other people would judge you or not?

I know I’ve made decisions, big decisions, in the past where I was trying to please someone else or avoid a minor confrontation.  I don’t regret where I ended up; I just regret not embracing the temporary discomfort.  Because when you embrace it once, you start to get used to it.  And when you get used to it, you can do it again.  And again.

Until finally, you’re making decisions based on what you want.